Parody · not an Apple product

Mystery Intelligence Pack

Apple now sells a $49.99 “intelligence usage pack.” It doesn't say how much intelligence is inside. Where we come from, that's called a loot box. Open one.

Tap the pack. It costs $49.99 of imaginary money.
Your $49.99 bought

Expires in 12 months · No Family Sharing · All sales final

Post on X Reddit
Packs opened0
Imaginary money spent$0.00
Intelligence obtainedUndisclosed

Drop rates

Loot boxes usually publish their odds. So here are ours.

RarityChance

What's actually true

The pack contents above are invented. These are not.